Just a doodle-and what to do with grief

I've been struggling the past few days as I recently attended a memorial service for a friend who was murdered. During the service I learned that her (the victim's) best friend had passed away in November. This person was also a good friend of mine (that i had lost touch with). Now I know why emails and phone calls have not been returned. It never even crossed my mind that she was even sick or had passed away! I knew the day would be hard but not for that reason. I've been struggling with what to do with my deep sadness and have been putting my energy into a memorial quilt for the first friend, Jeanne Calle. I wanted to finish it by the day of the funeral but realized it was impossible but I'm very close to done now. It's not perfect or amazing art. But, it has served the purpose of giving my hands and my mind something to do. Mindless stitching and beading while at the same time keeping my friend's memory at the forefront of my mind every minute of the past few days. I'll post a picture when it is finished. I'll be donating it to the American Cancer Society, where she worked for 20 years, and let them choose whether to keep it or send it along to her family.

This week has been a real wake up call to cherish your friends and your memories and to try hard to live in the moments that you have. For those old friends who haven't heard from me, rest assured you will soon. I'm making a list and urgently feel the need to know that you are all okay.

My friend who passed in November, Carmen Rodriguez, was also an epidemiologist that I worked with at the American Cancer Society. She was a small, feisty person with a huge heart. She had two boys, 12 and 16. My thoughts go out to her husband and her children. She had adrenal cancer found last April and was gone by November. She was only 50. Hug your kids, hug your spouses and hug your friends today.

Here's a silly bird just to lift the mood after this dark post. What a difference a little color makes.